Victoria’s Secret is Loose

You can tell a lot about person by looking at the bag they carry.  A few years ago in New York City  there was an explosion of women using those little pink-striped Victoria’s Secret bags (in which one originally carries her unmentionables home) as an everyday utility satchel.  I saw them on the train, in my apartment building, everywhere, really. Morning, noon, night.

Back to how bags can give you insight into people.  If you see someone carrying a Modell’s bag there’s a good chance he or she has interest not only in sports, but in sporting goods as well.  If carrying a MOMA (Museum of Modern Art) bag, it is likely indicative of a cultured interest in the fine arts.  Prada, Gucci, or Vuitton might mean money, though between the real deal Holyfield and the cheap Chinatown knockoffs it could be hard to tell.  Bags from the hipster outfits “Brooklyn Industries” and Manhattan Storage (in that order) display…well…your real (or imagined) hipness.  If you’re on the train with a tiny orange plastic bag, you’re a consumer of Chinatown foods (and apparently savvy enough to avoid fake Gucci).  Backpacks are for diligent students or diligent train bombers, etc.

So it seems sacks not only provide excellent handling for all sorts of goods, but can quickly (and I’d like to think accurately) tell you something about the baggage handlers themselves, which brings us back to the Vicky’s bags…if Modell’s equals sporting goods and Prada equals money or the desire to display it, Victoria’s Secret must equal “I like everyone to know I prance about in naughty underpants.”  Where “drawers” are concerned, this person likes to get nasty (yes, I know, they do make some utilitarian stuff, but please don’t try to tell me that’s the primary social association).  Now, the female in question (it seems to be a purely female phenomenon, although the question of what message a man carrying such a bag would send is quite titillating) may ostensibly shrug off this analysis, claiming that its sturdy handle and rugged construction make it ideal for day trips, or that it only originally contained a modest batch of lotions and cosmetics, but I think we all know the truth—Victoria’s Secret is out—and purely by design.

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