An Ode to Fritz, King of Weiner Dogs

He wasn’t sophisticated
Or debonair
But he could steal the show
And piddle far
He was a hit with the ladies
And Dieter too
He could steal the show
And piddle far
Oh, Fritzie
You’re still a star
Fritz thought that he was equal
Fritz thought that he was people
Well he’d roll in smelly piles
Fritz was my buddy
Short, brown, and stubby
He could pull those rocks right out of Weaver Lake
Oh, Fritz I miss the lake
He could sit on two legs
And beg like a dog
He knew what he liked
And he did what he wanted
But he knew what loyalty was
And he knew when he’d been bad
And he could make you fall in love
Just like he did to my Dad
Fritz thought that he was equal
Fritz though that he was people
Well he’d roll in fetid piles
Fritz was my buddy
Short, brown, and ruddy
Well he could pull those rocks right out of Weaver Lake
Fritz I miss the lake
We’ll always have the lake
Well I can see Fritz sitting in an empty hall
In that house on Weaver Lake
He knew change was gonna come
And I can see Fritz lying dead, I’m dumb, there’s no one home
Well I still couldn’t look away
But I can see Fritz
Running down that hill
Knowing those rocks weren’t far away
Fritz thought that he was equal
Fritz thought that he was people
Well he’d roll in stinky piles
Fritz was my buddy
Short, brown, and muddy
He could pull those rocks right out of Weaver Lake
Fritz I miss the lake
I’ll see you at the lake

Top Ten Things of Which Bixby is Mortified

A portion of my legion readers have met and know His Hardly-Honorable Sir Bixby, my one year old Chiweenie. For those unfamiliar with the breed, he’s one of those newfangled ‘designer’ dogs; in his case he’s 50% Dachshund (wiener dog), 50% Chihuahua, and 110% goofy!

Well, lately I’ve been noticing the surprising number of things that scare the living poopie out of the poor little guy and thought I’d share the Top Ten Things of Which Bixby is Mortified

10) Blowing leaves

9) Scarves

8 ) Own intimidating shadow

7) Tiny shred of sliced turkey thrown to him to catch

6) Ducks!!

5) That creepy box that holds his toys

4) Robins

3) Scary-ass pair of socks hanging off the couch

2) Underside of chairs

1) All the big things that move