Fun With Album Covers: Part Two

WARNING: This post contains adult humor, crude language, drug references and fat jokes.

Okay, it’s clear after the first installment that this s@#t just writes itself. Below, for your reading, viewing, and thankfully not listening pleasure are more classic slabs of ridiculous wax.

FWAC Tasty Treat #3: Woody Woodbury Looks at Love & Life: Fun, Foolosophy and a Frantic Piano for Frisky Adults Only, Woody Woodbury, Stereoddities Records

"Reminds me of the old Sears catalog days..."

Well although the beginning of Woody’s selected record title implies thoughtful, philosophical meditations on our complex time here on this rock we call Earth, the artwork tells a different story.  The only thing Woody is lookin’ at is some fine Granny-pantied ass.  And, stunned to see such a fine specimen through what may symbolize the very keyhole of life, Woody’s attention is obviously growing larger by the moment. Perhaps that’s what the Wood-man means by ‘foolosophy,’ the higher order, enlightened realization that only one thing matters in this Godforsaken life, and that’s fine, fine poontang. Continue reading

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Guitar Face: Involuntary, Reflexive, & Totally Bitchin’

Guitar Face is a condition that afflicts thousands of string benders and riff munchers across the globe.  For those who suffer the condition, the consequences can be serious but in almost all cases non-fatal.  Symptoms include extreme contortions of the eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, and chin, and an insatiable appetite for rocking.

Like a drug addict, a person going through AIGFS (Acquired Involuntary Guitar Face Syndrome) rarely pauses to consider his or her condition but instead just keeps looking for that next big fix/killer riff/ear-destroying solo blast.  Myself a long-time sufferer, I decided to catalogue a few of the “GFs” I’ve made or witnessed in my many devious days in rawk.

I hope this proves helpful in diagnosing yourself or someone you love,  that it makes you cue up that old Iron Maiden Number of the Beast LP, or that it merely gives you a chuckle.

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT Continue reading

Top Ten Unused Blues Musician Names

1)    Blind Willie Jefferson
2)    Scatman “Bad Scat” Williams
3)    Petey “Lemon Bark” Patterson
4)    Booby “.357” Carter
5)    Frank “Forget two-timin’, I be three-timin’!” Bailey
6)    Robert “Syphilis” Brown
7)    Chicken Leg Smith, the 3rd
8)    Spike “Shot my old lady down at the crossroads, 3 a.m., drunk on gin, and yeah I kinda liked it” Washington
9)    John “Ice Pick” Patterson
10)Clarence “Gangrene & Gout” Johnson