Pros & Cons of Becoming a Mixed Martial Artist (MMA Fighter)

I might not seem the type, but I love to watch mixed martial arts fighting (e.g. UFC, Pride Fighting Championship).  It fascinates me.  I think at one point of my life (pre-back and neck surgeries) I would have had a shot.  I coulda been somebody.  I coulda been a contenda.  Or….not. Below, some of the main pros and cons of my not-quite-yet-dead dream of becoming a modern day gladiator.

Pro: Huge potential for aggression release
Con: Huge potential for opponent’s aggression release
Pro: Study interesting fighting techniques from all over the globe
Con: Spend much time rolling around with another stinky sweaty man
Pro: Get to pick out cool fighting name ala Mike ‘Quick’ Swick or Nate “the Great” Marquardt
Con: Jon “Flabby Noodles”  Stang doesn’t appear to have roll-off-the-tongue quality
Pro: Improve stamina by going five five-minute rounds
Con: Heart attack a virtual lock
Pro: Get to meet interesting people from around the world
Con: They’re all meatheads intent on beating the living crap of out you
Pro: “Nut Cup” protects the old family jewels
Con: Rest of body not protected by any type of cup
Pro: Potential to make lots of money
Con: Potential is greatest through embarrassing neck break-related lawsuit
Pro: Chicks love a badass
Con: That’d be my opponent
Pro: Opportunity to be famous
Con: For being first MMA fatality in sanctioned event
Pro: Sport has evolved to include many fighting disciplines
Con: Many more ways to get my ass kicked
Pro: Get recognized routinely
Con: by Class A morons, rednecks, skeezers, buttmunches, jockos, and ass hats
Pro: Still got the old fire in the belly
Con: Fire spreads to kidneys after fight and results in peeing blood