Insomnia has been keeping me up at night. In younger days I slept like the proverbial baby–normally, restfully even, because I was sleeping. Now I think of restlessness while I toss, then turn, then toss then turn. My shrink prescribed Ambien, then suggested I don’t take it. I tried melatonin, yogic stretching, and multiple masturbation. I tried valerian root, then Xanax, then booze. Then Xanax and booze.
A typical work night might go something like this:
Pop a melatonin (I have no idea if this stuff works or if it is pure ritual) and a Benadryl (who knew my allergies would be a boon to my sleep maintenance!) and slip into bed confident that tonight will in fact be “the night.” Morpheus, my god of sleep and rest, I am yours. Time: 12:00 a.m.
12:25 a.m.: Have run through minute details of day’s work events twice, becoming more anxious with each passing moment.
12:43 a.m.: Run through minute details of next day’s probable work events, utilizing my last remaining optimistic brain cell, becoming more anxious with each passing moment.
1:17 a.m.: Calculate time left in sleep night if I fall asleep RIGHT NOW!
1:18 a.m.: Conclude I am deeply dissatisfied with time remaining for sleep.
1:50 a.m.: Ponder whether popping Ambien is right move. Continue reading
sQuelchy Takes On The Universe 